Here I Am Again

I realize how long it's been since I've last blogged my brain.
I also realize the reason why:
I keep all the brain things inside me as much as possible.
I don't typically share my true thinkings with anyone, which is a bit ironic, considering the name of this blog.
Once in a while someone will actually say what I am thinking or feeling, just from their own observations and a lot of times they are right. But I didn't verbally give anybody that information; it came from their own reasoning. When people speak their thoughts about me, and some of the conclusions they have come to about who I am, sometimes I feel as if a burden has been lifted from inside my chest, like it had been some secret I had been keeping for years. Not that what they say is always actually my secret, but because it has been bottled inside me for so long and to hear it out loud from someone else is almost a relief, even if the truth hurts. It also makes me wonder how mysterious I really actually am, since someone else discovered something about me. Haha.. Although none of us are really as mysterious as we think we are, right?

Okay, I think that's enough of Dawn's brain babbles for now.

And to end with a quote for the day:

"My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me."

- Jennifer Tyler -

Mine

Apparently, this blog is now mine, all mine. I made another blog site for the family, and any updates we have. But this blog was originally intended for me. For my thinkings. What that means, exactly...? Who knows. But does it matter? No.

I have been thinking alot about life lately. About how relationships and interactions with others can really effect you. Does it define you? What would you be like if you had even half of the relationships and friendships in your life; would you be different? I have heard it said that you are who you really are when you are alone. Which I see some truth to, but I wouldn't want to be completely alone for too long. Then I would probably go crazy. But then again, maybe that's who I really am! :)

What is the definition of a best friend? Is there an actual definition of what one is, or is it one of those common knowledge things where it's just assumed of what a best friend is? When I think of the word "best", I think of the highly-favored thing; a thing of a group of things that has the least imperfections. When it comes to friends, though, how do you pick a best one? I don't know. But if I were to choose, I would want someone who I can tell anything and everything to, without feeling a fear of being judged. To talk about silly things, serious things, and what-if fantasies.
Very rarely have I been able to completely let all my walls down and just talk about anything that's happening in my mind, with somebody else. There has always been something holding me back. I don't know what it is, but I have quite a bit going on internally, that I am not sure if it will ever get out. But maybe that's okay, too.

As for now, I feel that I need to find a way to love and accept myself, for me. I believe that if I can do that, then it's possible to let someone else in and see me too.

Life never stops moving. And I am twirling, twirling, twirling.

A Brief Catch-Up

Things in the Allen Home

The last time I blogged, it was January. Now here it is nearly the end of July and tonight is the first time I have even logged onto my blog since then. Looks like it's time for me to bring you up to speed. . .

We bought a truck for Jon. It's a little Honda Ridgeline and he loves it. Got a great deal on it and it makes the hubby happy. Could I ask for more? I mean really.

I am working full-time doing home care occupational therapy with Caregiver Support Network. It's been a few years since I have worked full-time, and I am finally getting back into the groove. It was a bit of an adjustment at first, but I am doing pretty good now.

JON OPENED HIS OWN RETAIL STORE!!! This has been his dream for years and years, and it finally came to pass. He is the proud owner of CAGE Computers and Gaming. It has been a roller coaster ride getting it going and keeping it up, but at the same time, it's been a blast. Especially for Jon. The store had its Grand Opening on May 17, 2010 and has pretty much had a steady rise in business since that day. Jon hired some close, trusted friends and family and I think they are all enjoying being a part of a business together. And from where I stand, it is great to see my husband living his dream.

Pretty much that's how things are rolling around here. We are busy, and generally we are always running around. But yet we still find time to have some fun. I think it's what keep us sane. Well..as sane as WE can be.

Our Vegas Trip

It's already the middle of January.
Seriously?!

Yes. Seriously.
Holy Crap.
I know!!

Yep! Time is doing its thaaang and carrying on like it does. :)

So our anniversary Vegas trip was short (3 days) but fun! We drove there, so 2 days of the trip was driving, and the other day was spent hanging out at the Tropicana, doing Let's Make a Deal!!

We stayed at Hooters Hotel and Casino, which some may say is cheesy/trashy. But I say who cares?! It was 20 bucks a night! AND it was the hotel right next to the Tropicana. Score, I say! Score, indeed. Also, we got to try the famous wings at the restaurant. They were pretty good, actually.

Here's some pictures from our trip...

Jon LOVES it when other people "know what they are doing on the road". I made him pose for this picture. It's sheer awesome, yes? :)

Cameras were not allowed to bring into the show, but I had to get some kind of picture-proof of the game show!

The "Soon to Be Relatively Famous" Hooters Wings!

...they charged a buck each for ranch, bleu cheese, and celery. Sheesh!

This was my costume for the game show. Yes, I was sick. I know I look horrid. But the costume looks pretty good, right? I think so. We didn't get a pic of Jon's costume, but it was pretty much a paint-splattered shirt, a hat, and props: a paintbrush and paint pallate.

So, that was our trip! Fun stuff.

I am trying to be all fancy-schmancy on this blog. I think I might be doing it wrong because it's difficult! I keep messing up the layout and whatnot. I may need a lesson in awesomizing my blog. Ha. We will see if that happens. Let's hope for the best!

Another Year Gone

It's unbelievable that 2009 is almost The Past. It seems like just last week that I was saying "Happy New Year!! I can't believe 2008 is over!" it's crazy.

Does time go by faster when you get older? I remember when I was growing up, it was a constant wait until Christmas, until my birthday, until I was FINALLY in the 6th grade. And now here I am, one week away from my 2 year wedding anniversary. Lesson learned: Time Definitely Flies!!

Speaking of wedding anniversary! Yes, it's been 2 years for Jon and me. We are going to Vegas again to celebrate. This time we originally wanted to go for a show. And it just happened to be showing on our anniversary. So we're making it into an anniversary trip!

So let's talk about this little show we are going to. Now this show isn't just any Vegas show, oh no! This is "Let's Make a Deal!" (!!!!) With the host Wayne Brady!!! This is going to be so much fun, we're super excited. We are going to have a clever costume duo that we are dressing in, too. We came up with the idea of being an artist (Jon) and an unfinished portait painting (me). We bought some supplies to make the costume tonight. Hope it works out as well as we are imagining it! We are a little short on time as well, since it needs to be finished by the end of this week. But yeah! Totally excited.

Christmas is in 3 days. I would say we're 98% ready. Well, I am at least. Not so sure about Jon! Let's hope for the best!! Ready or not, Christmas is coming.

So....P90X....yeeeeeeah. I have totally slacked off. I stopped and used the excuse that I didn't have the right weights or resistance bands to really get the benefit of the workout. Welp! I bought some resistance bands. Have I done the workout since? Nope! Dammit!!! I really do plan on it though! So help me. I plan on it.

Jackie is getting married next month! Spot (Justin) is pretty much a perfect match for her, and I think he is awesome. So excited for them both!

I am planning a bachelorette party for her. It is fun but a bit stressful at the same time. Some of my major plans for it fell through today, and the party is in just a couple of weeks, so I'm a bit worried. But at the same time, I'm sure everything will work out okay. Tiffani Grimm is helping me plan it and get everything together, and we are both tons of fun, so I'm sure the party will end up being a great hit, no matter what we end up doing! Overall I am excited for it.

We need to get a new vehicle. Jon's truck has seen the last of its days. It's sad. Neither Jon nor I want to get a new vehicle. Such a pain to deal with!

There's so much to consider:

• Do we want a truck or a car?
• Cars are less expensive than a truck/SUV
• We would like the option of towing capabilities
• Do we want to get the vehicle that will be our vehicle for a REALLY long time?
• Where do we want to get it?
• And so on, and so forth...

It's frustrating to deal with, but nevertheless, we have to deal with it anyway. Hopefully we will figure out what we're doing soon!

I've got a busy work day tomorrow. I am seeing all of my home health patients, then I'm off to the nursing facility to put in a few hours there. Can I just say that I love being a COTA? Because I do.

Here's to 2009, the great year that it was. May 2010 be even better!

Cheers!!

Working on Working Out

Jon and I have decided we want to get into shape (seriously, this time). So we started P90X last night! I can tell it will be a kicker. Holy crap. But I do feel that if we stick to it, there will be results!

We took our before pictures....ugh. I have decided that I do NOT like having my pictures taken in my bathing suit. Especially when it is for the sole purpose of pointing out how fat you are. Had to do 6 different poses. If you are thinking, "Well, Dawn, you should post them!" then you are just plain silly. The ONLY way I will post them is, if in 90 days there is a major result. Then I will post before and after pictures.

So we completed a workout that consisted of about 40 minutes, which was called UML (because it worked on Upper body, Middle section, and Lower body). It wasn't the best performance I've ever done for a workout, to say the least! Especially since I had to share my yoga mat with Jon, while simultaneously having Frenchie and Buster up in our faces wondering what in the crap we were doing. But we finished it! And afterward I thought I would finish it all up with a nice strawberry flavored whey protein shake.

So I did! I chugged that 8 ounces like it was the last thing on earth to drink. I must say, it was quite tasty; it was like Strawberry Nesquik. The next thing I know, though, is my chest is really tight, like when you eat too fast. I figured it was because I drank the thing so fast, so I ignored it knowing that it would go away soon. However, it didn't. It got worse. My chest began to constrict, feeling like my lungs were shriveling. I felt a weird slimy feeling in my mouth and throat. Something definitely wasn't right. I told Jon what was going on and, after starting to feel dizzy and weak, I went to bed. Jon brought me in some allergy medicine but I was still worried and in alot of pain. When I would turn to lie on my side, it felt as if my rib cage was collapsing into itself. Not a pleasant feeling! Then I would start to have little baby panic attacks and then I definitely couldn't breathe.
I did finally go to sleep; I think the allergy medicine helped with that. But when I woke up I still felt a bit crappy. But I felt much better. So I got dressed in my scrubs and went to work.

Needless to say, I think I am allergic to whey.

Today has continued to be a bit of an off day. Jon has been feeling pretty sick today (non-whey-related), and neither of us has had much of an appetite. I really don't want to get sick. Really.

So I made us some homemade soup, even though we both aren't entirely hungry. I figured we should at least have some food in our bellies, and soup is known to be a comfort food, especially when you are sick.

Back to Blogging

I am attempting to blog again. SO much has happened since last time I blogged. I mean come on, it's been 9 months. Well here I go again, with the intention of keeping track of my life via blog. Wish me luck...

Here is a list of some major things that have happened within the last 9 months:

• I finished my fieldwork at ManorCare
• I graduated from college
• We moved to a new location in South Ogden
• We completely renovated the new place
• Jackie had her baby boy, Maxwell Connor Venable
• Darcy and Joe had another baby girl, Brielle Dawn Stuart
• Dannielle and Mark adopted a baby girl, Paityn Elisa Wilson
• Dad and Mom got 2 new dachshund puppies, Shasta and Meisha
• I passed my NBCOT exam and became a COTA
• I got my license and became a COTA/L
• I got a job PRN at Heritage Park Care Center in Roy
• I got a job working home health with the status of "self-employed"
• Jon got his own business up and running, "Cutting Edge Computers"
• I had my first on-stage performance in years

Hopefully I didn't leave out anything super-important...if I did and it involved you or someone you know, I'm sorry but cut me some slack, eh? It has been a long time!

So....now that I have put all the "majors" into a list, I don't know what else to talk about! Maybe that will be all for today.

Let's see if I come back soon. :)